The 14 Stations of the Sloth

"The Condemnation of Ligneus"

  1. LIGNEUS IS CONDEMNED TO DEATH
    For his crimes of claiming to be the Sirdar. He must help Pickaxe move into a new home.

  2. LIGNEUS RECEIVES HIS CROSS
    In the form of a heavy futon from the moving truck.

  3. LIGNEUS FALLS FOR THE FIRST TIME
    That futon is brutally heavy.

  4. LIGNEUS MEETS HIS MOTHER
    It is very hot and sweaty and he has become delirious.

  5. PICKAXE HELPS LIGNEUS TO CARRY THE FUTON
    He has heard the loud grumblings.

  6. THE LANDLADY WIPES THE FACE OF LIGNEUS
    And miraculously the hanky is fouled by grimy sweat.

  7. LIGNEUS FALLS FOR THE SECOND TIME
    He is only half-way to the house.

  8. LIGNEUS CONSOLES THE OUTRIDERS OF THE SUZERAIN
    And asks them for lemonade.

  9. LIGNEUS FALLS FOR THE THIRD TIME
    Down the stairs and into Pickaxe's apartment.

  10. LIGNEUS IS STRIPPED OF HIS GARMENTS
    It is terribly hot.

  11. LIGNEUS IS NAILED TO THE FUTON
    In sheer exhaustion, he lies on top of the futon which is on the floor.

  12. LIGNEUS DIES UPON THE FUTON
    Pickaxe cannot get him back up.

  13. LIGNEUS IS TAKEN DOWN FROM THE FUTON AND LAID IN THE ARMS OF HIS MOTHER
    Pickaxe rolls him off the futon and carries it to the waiting frame. Ligenus is delirious again.

  14. LIGNEUS IS LAID IN THE SEPULCHRE
    He does not emerge from the apartment for three days.